*me pointing to a ship* close platonic relationship
*fandom crying voice* no… that’s wrong… they cant be platonic………. stop….. theres no proof…… ………. they look into each other in eyes and hugged like once ……. stop saying this fake thing….
*me pointing to a ship* luv that close platonic relationship
I am pinning my hopes. The Anima Christi has always been a favorite prayer…the imagery is so heartrending and beautiful and comforting.
I love a lot about the Catholic Church, but there is a lot that I am not very okay with anymore and the weirdest thing about being Catholic is that I still love the Eucharist and want to receive even when I don’t know if I even believe in anything else at all, but you have to be orthodox and in a state of grace to receive so…?
In a state of grace? Yes. 100 percent orthodox? Nope, look at this. You have to believe in the doctrine of Transubstantiation. (Just because you experience doubts doesn’t mean you don’t believe—dearest, if that were true I don’t know how many of us could receive communion at all.) You have to observe the Eucharistic fast. That’s it. Oh, and you can’t be under an ecclesiastical censure.
You want to receive. That shows me that you’ve got your priorities where they should be. Beyond all your questions (please keep having them: “blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall be satisfied”), you do want to just run directly to Jesus. Which, do that. Now. Most priests will hear your confession quickly if you approach them before Mass. Seriously. It’s Sunday. Please try. I know it’s easy for me to say from my Internet distance, but try.
Have you ever thought how much easier everything would be if Jesus was a solid, tangible person whom you could just hug and talk to about everything and look up to, if it wasn’t all so obscured by centuries of dogmatic musings and the opinions of sinners?
Yes. So often—but you know what, you don’t have to be thinking about dogma all the time. If it’s holding you back, just downsize. Think about your life right now—not tomorrow or the next day or the next. Think of what’s in front of you right now. “Give us this day our daily bread”—not our past bread or our future bread, but the bread we need to survive right now. Dale Carnegie put it this way: "Today’s bread is the only kind of bread you can possibly eat." You don’t have to digest centuries of church teaching and arguments and synods and opinions right now, today.
Jesus does give himself to us in the most tangible way possible—even though our senses can’t fathom it—and he wants to be with us more than anything. The Eucharist is a hug and a long talk, or it should be. It won’t always feel that way. But I hope it will feel that way this time.
I love the idea of a human ideal, fully divine and fully human. I love the story of Christianity, the unity it provides for all experience. But still, is it a real story?
I don’t know, I wish I could give you a hug too for taking all this time to talk to me. I wish I could give a lot of people hugs.
You are not a terrible example, Allie, you’re kindhearted and trying to help with a task that’s beyond anything a human can do. Its really up to God right now, I feel, to show me certainty, to draw me to Him again…..
You’re absolutely right. <3
Oh well, its second best to just talk to you. You’re right. I don’t even care about all this theological whatshamacallit, in the end we all just want to be loved.
(But then there’s that darn litany of Humility with its “from the desire of being loved, deliver me dear Jesus”….are we supposed to just abandon our humanity in the quest for divinization? Are we never supposed to need, to long, to be fulfilled? Its just been on my mind that maybe we need to be fully human before we can become divine [in the Eastern theological sense of achieving unity with God] but then there’s that whole thing about controlling our own wills before we can even give them up to God….it all makes me want to burrow deep into the ground and sleep forever and give up)
No! The “desire of being loved” bit doesn’t mean that wanting to be loved is wrong. It’s not wrong, and you should want to give and receive love. That’s what you were made to do. Jesus never lost the desire to be loved, right up until the very end.
It’s about love in the sense of wanting to go along with the crowd. Wanting to be loved so badly that you lose yourself (all that stuff about “losing yourself in Christ” is really about going to be made more yourself, to be made new, to be made whole). Sometimes we want so badly to stay in everyone’s good graces that we neglect our beliefs entirely. If we were free from that desire, we could accomplish so much. But you know what? Even that ideal I don’t imagine you have to attain right now, right this very minute.
What God wants for us is a process. We can’t do it all at once. One day at a time. Expecting divinity in yourself is the road to heartbreak. Frankly, looking at yourself at all too much is the road to heartbreak. Look at God. Think about Him. Don’t compare yourself to Him. Just value God for what He is and what you can understand. Shut out the noise. The rest may come in time.
Needing and longing and being fulfilled is the ENTIRE THING. It’s our entire religion. It’s every single saint. It’s our history. It’s our blood. It’s exactly what we should be doing, not aspiring to some kind of weird semidivine state with no feelings and no needs. There’s no room for God in that.
When thefairandfascinatingmissrosa and I went to see How to Train Your Dragon 2, just before the big climactic scene where—well, someone is fatally wounded, she looked over and noticed that I was on my phone.
Without a moment’s hesitation (as far as I know) she took my phone and shoved it in her purse.
I was sitting there like pfft Danielle what are you up to all I wanted was to check the ti—oh. Oh. OH.
Thank you for your response Allie.
But…well, see for me, its not really a lack of “consolation” so much as intellectual doubt and then of course isolation arising from all that. Like an immense tug-of-war (sometimes even hour to hour) between being convinced that its all true, or its not….yet in the back of my mind something always remains, a faith in Something controlling the universe - but then again I wonder if its childhood bias or human error in seeing patterns where they do not exist - and then again, what does it matter as long as believing it makes you a better person? but then, what defines good? and is there even one absolute truth about what good is or is it situational?
And so on and so forth. Its like an inescapable never-ending process of questioning. Not like wandering in an empty desert of oblivion (which I imagine must be even harder to endure. Mother Teresa was a warrior), but having tectonic forces colliding and diverging inside, pinching and pulling and smashing you just when you thought they would rest.
I say all this not to complain, but to emphasize - God has been very good to me (I think when I’m convinced He exists) and apparently inexplicable things happen in my life that are evidence of his beauty and goodness. I’m not “spiritually dry” hardly ever - its more like a water spigot turning on and off and on and off and on and off?
Idk, no matter what, you’re right I should give it a try and make it to confession. Just could not do it today. Could not could not could not. And that’s (maybe?) the devil but I still felt more at peace so maybe not…
Ack its all just very unsure. Thank you for your constant loveliness and care though. It means a lot to me. Having a community of people who support you even when you’re not up to their standards at the time is the best thing.
Never never consider that you are not up to the standards. I don’t have any standards. I just want you to be all right. /hugs you/
That intellectual doubt and uncertainty and questioning and the resultant mental clashing is exactly the kind of thing I mean, though. I think it takes a different form for everyone who experiences it, the personalities and the different ways of thinking. But the way you’re seeing above it all to something larger and deeper, even if you’re not sure quite what it is? Pin your hopes on that. It’s bigger than all this. I always repeat the suffer me not to be separated from thee in the Anima Christi which is a super short prayer but what I’m doing is binding myself to that—that little bit of God that I see, and the infinite expanse of God that I don’t see.
But from the bottom of my heart I’m a terrible example because I don’t know a thing, no more than you. Talking to you is a blessing because it’s so much easier for me to advise than it is to take my own advice. I’m writing all this stuff in the hopes that it’ll help a little when all I really wish I could do is be there for you in person to comfort you, because I think you really need that—comfort first and then attempts at theological whatshamacallit to reconcile your thoughts. I wish I had something to offer you other than theological whatshamacallit.
sometimes i feel envious of simple, beautiful-minded humble people who take what they are told at face value. but at the same time, overanalyzing and doubting 24/7 is a sort of…dark gift? it creates a more complexly beautiful soul in the end, i think. that is the only justification for it that occurs to me right now. otherwise, why would God torture some people with this way of thinking?
I have a theory. I think that a lot of those simple, beautiful-minded humble people that you and I want to be so badly are actually dealing with or have dealt with the same stuff we do.
I mean, you couldn’t encounter a better example than Mother Teresa. Joy itself on the outside, but on the inside:
"Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The child of your love — and now become as the most hated one — the one You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. Alone … I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
So, yes, you’re right, you’re absolutely right. This is a gift, an amazing one—though I think it’s also important to realize that God does not torture. Only Satan does that. What God does is withdraw our spiritual comfort so that we may be made more perfect, but he does not create the pain and anguish we feel—he only allows it, and it hurts him to watch us suffer. Satan is the most petty, childish thing you can imagine and he relishes our short-term misery, not considering its potential to benefit us in the long-term. Use it against him. Since you can’t get rid of these feelings, offer them up for everyone Satan has crushed. It may not make you feel any different, but trust me, it will do so much.
isfjmel-phleg said: Why, thou knot-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene greasy tallow-catch,— [...] Away, you starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you stock-fish,—O, for breath to utter what is like thee!—you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck! (1 Henry IV)
Blush, blush, thou lump of foul deformity. Despair thy charm and let the angel whom thou still hast served tell thee ALLIE HAS A SHAKESPEARE INSULT MUG GIFTED TO HER BY THE CAST OF MACBETH AND FURTHERMORE THAT THERE IS NO WOUND YOUR EPITHETS CAN MAKE IN HER THAT CANNOT BE STAUNCHED BY HER FAMILY’S OVERABUNDANCE OF SHAKESPEARE INSULT BANDAGES.
misterdarcy said: The most infectious pestilence upon thee!
Ah, me, you juggler! You canker-blossom!
EVERYONE who reblogs this will be insulted in Shakespearean fashion.
I am so looking forward to this …
I GOT MINE BEING INSULTED HAS MADE MY NIGHT
SHES NOT JOKING
Just you try this, I will Shakespeare-insult you right back.
myn-anthony said: I don't normally ask for prayers for myself, but I'm finding it very hard to pray for myself. I can't trust that God will take away my suffering in this life, & can't deal with that. I feel my suffering is a barrier between us. Everything I'm going through is very complicated, & due to chronic illness, it can be impossible for me to articulate complex thoughts & feelings. I just need prayers… for seemingly endless severe physical, emotional, psychological & spiritual suffering I'm going through.
I’m praying for you now, and please don’t hesitate to ask for prayers 💜💜💜
Please if you could pray and reblog!
one eye open: a Gravity Falls fanmix
Don’t let the dream demons interfere with your all-nighter.
01. Sleepsong - Bastille // 02. Kids - MGMT // 03. Somebody’s Watching Me - Rockwell // 04. Psycho Killer - Talking Heads // 05. Sis Puella Magica! - Yuki Kajiura // 06. Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head - They Might Be Giants // 07. Sleep is for the Weak - The Dreadnoughts // 08. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘Em Up) - Fall Out Boy // 09. Demons - Imagine Dragons // 10. Major Minus - Coldplay // 11. In a Sweater Poorly Knit - mewithoutYou
Please read, amazing 💜💜